What is it?
Sideways. Very sideways. And cold. Why? Well, rather than drive the Cayenne GTS in sunny climes, Porsche has brought us to Sweden to drive it on a frozen lake. I woke up in a room made of ice, at -5 degrees C in Sweden's famous Icehotel. That's balmy compared to the -30 degrees C showing on the Cayenne's digital display. Still, it's warm inside the Cayenne, its heater doing an amazing job at keeping the cabin toasty, ensuring I don't get frostbite. Porsche's Cayenne GTS is the most driver focussed of the SUV range, its various electronic driver aids helping it control its 405bhp in all conditions. Even here, where the electronics do a quite amazing job at keeping the Cayenne GTS pointing the right way - in spite of the fact there's next to no grip on the frozen surface I'm driving it on.
Is it any good?
Absolutely, it's sensational. We experienced the Cayenne GTS on the original launch event in Portugal late last year and it impressed there with its quite staggering performance and dynamic ability. Really, no car with such bulk and height should be able to be driven with such conviction. In Portugal it was difficult to ascertain just how effective Porsche's driver aids are in achieving its ability; in Sweden it's far more obvious. Alongside its four-wheel drive system the Cayenne uses a combination of electronic driver aids with countless acronyms like PTM, ASR, ABS, PSM, PASM and PDCC. These are linked to the chassis (when fitted with optional air suspension), engine control unit, gearbox (with the automatic) and traction and stability systems to give the GTS its extraordinary ability.
The GTS's drivetrain is configured for maximum performance, but high speed driving isn't likely to be on the agenda in Sweden, where the tarmac spends a good part of the year under a layer of snow and ice. However, on a frozen lake, on regular 'friction' snow tyres - rather than studded ones - the Cayenne GTS demonstrates that even here it can perform remarkably. Leave the electronics on and traction and grip is managed with quite staggering efficiency, allowing you to drive the Cayenne confidently at quite unthinkable speeds. Press Sport and it raises the bar, allowing the driver more control before the electronic intervention - in the process making you look like a driving hero. It's only when you switch off all those controls you realise just how effective those electronics - rather than you - have been in keeping the Cayenne pointing in the right direction. With a whole lake to play with, and nothing to hit, it's huge fun to drive the Cayenne without the electronics turned on, though more often than not, without them spinning is inevitable.
Should I call the bank manager?
You'll need to if you go driving your Porsche on frozen lakes on you own. With expert supervision and the assurance that the ice is thick enough we could drive the GTS in such testing conditions. We wouldn't recommend doing so on your own as you might go through it, and recovering a Cayenne from the bottom of a lake would be expensive. It's not just the car that'd be a write-off, either. Seriously, the Cayenne GTS might not be the prettiest performance SUV on the market, nor the most politically correct, but there really is nothing out there to touch it in the SUV market for driver appeal. It's so good we'd have it over its manic Turbo relative. After all, the Turbo is only around one second quicker to 62mph, and costs a not insignificant £20,000 more.
Summary
Driving the Cayenne GTS on ice underlines just how effective Porsche's PSM (Porsche Stability Management), PTM (Porsche Traction Management) and four-wheel drive systems are. That should be heart-warming to all those Cayenne drivers using their super SUVs on the school run...
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