Hummer H2
The responses from passers by Range from slack-jawed stupefaction through rabid enthusiasm to sheer disgust. Whatever your take on the leviathan Hummer H2, youll certainly find it impossible to ignore. Its sheer bulk, vertiginous frontage and quasi-military mien not to mention this examples retina searing yellow paintwork combine to acquaint pedestrians with pavement furniture like few other vehicles.
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Based on tried and tested GM mechanicals, the H2 uses a front suspension system similar to a GM Silverado truck while the rear end is similar to a GM half-tonne truck. Weighing in at 2,845kg (a Bentley ContinentalT weighs a full 300kg less) and powered by a 316bhp 6.0-litre V8, the Hummer H2 takes quite a bit of stopping when it starts moving. It also takes quite a bit of fuel to get it moving, the H2 often dipping into single figure miles per gallon around town.
Its Tonka toy looks are unashamedly macho, Hummer backing up the appeal with some gung-ho advertising rhetoric. "In a world where SUVs have begun to look like their owners, complete with love handles and mushy seats, the H2 proves theres still one out there that can drop and give you 20". Despite the glitzy marketing that made the H2 this years must have vehicle in the US, the car had to live up to the Hummer brand name. Fortunately it does.
"The H2 proves theres still one out there that can drop and give you 20"
Capable of negotiating a 16-inch vertical wall, fording 20 inches of water, ascending a 60% incline and traversing a 40% side slope, the H2 can walk the walk too. Despite its unnerving girth, the H2 borders on unstoppable when taken offroad. The short front and rear overhangs make ascending and descending steep hills and deep gullies childs play. With nearly ten inches of ground clearance to call upon and almost unbelievable levels of wheel articulation, the H2 will rarely have to resort to its protective underbody skid plates.
The relatively narrow windows make visibility an issue when really pushing the limits but on these occasions you should have a spotter outside helping you through. The four-speed automatic transmission splits power 40/60 to the front and rear wheels under normal driving conditions. Switching to 4 Hi Locked splits the front/rear bias 50.50 while another button on the dash then separates right and left sides into a 50/50 split.
If this set up cant drag you out of the stickiest of situations, 4 Lo Locked alters the settings of the electronic throttle to assist low-speed crawling. A dual-level traction control system allows the H2 to continue even if only one wheel can get a purchase. All this will be academic to many H2 buyers. Most UK prospective customers will be looking for something a little more exotic than a BMW X5 or a Range Rover and assuming they are unintimidated by the cars six foot nine width (excluding mirrors), huge thirst and limited availability, they may well like what they see.
The interior has been styled in a very modern, industrial way, certainly a long way removed from the charmless military functionality of the original Hummer. Eight-way power adjustable seats, a Bose stereo system, dual-zone climate control and optional leather trim afford a touch of luxury but like its big brother, the Hummer H2 doesnt offer MPV levels of passenger accommodation. The three-passenger rear bench seat is fine for two average adults, but the contoured shape of the centre seat makes three abreast seating a little uncomfortable. A full sized spare wheel occupies a big proportion of the rear cargo area, leaving only enough room for a single seat in the third row.
For such an expensive vehicle, some of the materials used are a little disappointing. Thin grey plastic abounds and the console-mounted shift lever may look like it was milled from a billet of solid aluminium but give it a quick wobble and youll realise its also made of plastic. Piloting the Hummer H2 through city centre streets is a disconcerting process. You begin to map the city out in terms of width restrictions, multi-storey car parks that prove off limits and so on.
Low-slung sports cars disappear alongside, with only the huge mirrors preventing a Lotus Elise-shaped test to the H2s clambering ability. Out on the open road the H2 is more amenable, the brakes inspiring confidence and the ride proving not overly wallowy. Due in no small part to the 35-inch all-terrain tyres, the featherlight steering lacks a bit of road feel. Still, we dont criticise a Lamborghini for its pitiful wading ability, do we? Therein lies the problem.
The Hummer H2 is a white-knuckle handful in the city much as a Lamborghini will be a fish out of water on a cross-country course, but nobody in their right mind would take the supercar boulder hopping. Here in the UK, the H2 will sadly be used as an urban weapon of mass distraction rather than the monster all-terrain vehicle it genuinely is. There are legions of Sierra Club-style Hummer haters out there but were not amongst them. If you do feel tempted to indulge, just do it for the right reasons.
Youll thank us afterwards.
Facts At A Glance
CAR: Hummer H2
PRICE: varies According to importer
INSURANCE GROUP: 20
CO2 EMISSIONS: tba
PERFORMANCE: Max Speed 110mph / 0-60mph 10.7s
FUEL CONSUMPTION: (extra urban) 17mpg
STANDARD SAFETY FEATURES: Twin airbags WILL IT FIT IN YOUR GARAGE? Length/Width/Height 189.8"/81.2"/82"
